There really wasn’t much out there at that time, and for mid length to long hair ‘cold turkey’ grow-out it takes about 20 months on average. If you choose to go short, you can cut that time down tremendously. You have many options from highlights and low-lights to pixie cuts.
This question is one many have and need an answer to that is a visual representation so they can see what start to finish looks like. I asked each of these glorious women to offer up any Words of Wisdom on going gray; they all had their own unique and silvery advice. For my 40th birthday I decided to go grey. I had been coloring my hair every 3 weeks for over a decade. It was a vicious and messy cycle. I knew at some point I would have to do “the big chop” so I started with it.
Starting a Gray Hair Journey: Personal Beginnings and Mindset
3 years ago I did what many of my friends thought was crazy and foolish. In those 3 years, I’ve learned that nothing about who I am has changed. I believe if one knows themselves, has self-confidence, it makes the transition easier when outside noise tries to interfere. Now, that’s the key, am I right?
Now, I’m not telling you this looking for sympathy, I tell you this because somewhere along my journey through this rollercoaster of life I felt that what I’d been taught all those years ago just couldn’t be true. I could feeeeeel that I wasn’t “that girl.” I went on a great adventure to find myself. When I finally found ME, I was both confused and ecstatic! Confused because I wasn’t “that girl” at all!
I started to build my own self-worth, my own self-confidence, based on the person I found out I was. My point in all this is, this “hair journey” can be about more than hair. In fact, it IS about more than hair, and if you’ve not found your confidence or self-worth or don’t fully know who you are yet, take this time as you grow out your natural locks to also explore who you are. Head up darlings, or your crown slips.
First Steps: From Dye to Natural Color and the Big Chops
I stopped dyeing my hair in September 2017, after thinking about it for several years. Once I started, I found it very exciting to see my natural colors emerge. It took me 9 months to be done with several big chops. The last picture is at 17 months dye free. This became so much more than a journey about hair!
What changed? A light-bulb moment! One evening, I was on FB, and a page popped up, Going Gray, Looking Great. It was literally; WTF am I doing??!! And that was it. I was done! Truly the most liberating thing I have ever done. Be prepared to take more selfies than you have ever done! Honestly, it’s a thing!
I started growing out my gray at age 44. I’d developed an allergic reaction to dye after dyeing it every 2.5 to 3 weeks for countless years. I knew I was ready and I did it ‘cold turkey’. I patiently waited for it to grow, while keeping the overall length. It took me 20 months, and I was done just before my 46th birthday. I have absolutely no regrets. OWN it! Rock it!
If growing out the dye is something you want to do, I’d make sure your current dye color is close to your actual hair color and make sure it has little or no ‘red tones’. This is ALL about confidence. Take a few months to get your confidence at the level that will deter those who want to tell you that you’re insane, that gray will age you, that this ‘just isn’t done’. Do not ASK anyone what they think. Instead, TELL them what you are doing and gush about how excited you are. Make sure you feel strong enough to deter the most negative comments.
Personal Transformations: Stories of Courage and Confidence
I’m hardheaded, so when I make up my mind to do something, it’s going to happen. My only regret is that I didn’t stop dyeing it sooner. In my collage, you can see that I tended to straighten my ‘frizzy’ wavy hair. It happened 6 years ago, I was 42. A decision was made. I was ready to take the plunge. I was tired of covering up. I was longing to be what I was meant to be, both inside and out. The cry for authenticity came from deep within.
I had always had long dark hair, and I was so desperate to keep it that way. The truth was that the dark brown had turned grey a long time ago, it started turning gray in my late teens. How sad that instead of celebrating what time has done in our lives, instead of appreciating the beauty that can only be earned by time, we try to stay stuck in the past, in our youth. Was I happier then? Was I more beautiful then? Would I want to go back there? I had an epiphany. I’m not. I’m still young looking, but I’m in my forties now. Why would I not want to look my age? What is so bad about that? I felt rebellious. She was awesome and very helpful. We decided on a bob that was chin length. While removing the old dye made the skunk line not so visible, it did drag out the process. I was sooo impatient, I just couldn’t wait to see the real me. It felt like it was going to take forever and I was never going to get there. But I did. It took about 2 years and I was fully transitioned. It was absolutely thrilling. At first, I started to get the stares. I had people walking up to me, asking me if my hair was real. I had women coming up to me asking me who my stylist was because they wanted the same unique colour.
Confidence, Community, and the Gray Revolution
For me, deciding to go grey was the outward manifestation of deciding to be real. I made some other, heart wrenching, difficult decisions at the same time. I cut ties with people and places that have not been serving me. Ties that were not authentic and honest, but damaging and unhealthy. I still remember how very scary the concept of grey hair was to me. It was absolutely terrifying. I was so scared that I would look like a witch…one of those on a broomstick. I was horrified. Looking back now, it seems funny how exaggerated those fears were. The thing that really helped was browsing pictures of other brave women who took the step and let their silver shine. I love being part of changing the world by changing the way we women look at ourselves. I love promoting the beauty of ageing. I love wisdom of the sages. I started dyeing my hair around 20 years old. I made the decision to embrace my silver hair just after my 48th birthday. It was becoming harder to keep the line of gray covered and on top of that, my hair was starting to fall out. My hairdresser was very supportive of my decision, as was my husband. It took approximately 9 months to fully transition but it was so worth it.
My advice to anyone wanting to free herself from hair dye: make a commitment to yourself and stick to it. I stopped coloring April 2017 at 57 yrs. young. The first photo is fresh from the salon, and the last day I colored. Look how stark that color is for my complexion! See, I was never really a girly girl, and primping, and time spent doing so, just annoyed me. I saw many young girls coloring their hair grey. It was becoming a trend, and I thought it was absolutely beautiful. I asked my hairdresser, if possible, to color my hair closer to my roots, so as not to have to color it as often, and jump on that trend. She was opposed to this idea, telling me she would have to strip my hair, which is very damaging, and that the upkeep would be very difficult. I found myself looking at grey photos of women on the internet, I so loved the color. Then, I just kind of had a light-bulb moment…I probably have that grey! Anyway, long story short, I took the plunge, and could not be happier with the results. I have never loved my hair more. It is so healthy, and actual looks so much prettier on me than my dyed hair ever did.
I must say the hardest part for me was the patience. My hair grows so slowly. Ironic since it seems to grow fast when in coloring mode. It will sound so cheesy, and others have said it, but you grow in many ways on this journey, and it is so much more than hair. I call it a finding of ‘self’ so to speak. You kind of figure out who you are, and what is important to you in life. You come out the other end more confident. Do the Full Transition to Gray Hair your way. Color correction, cold turkey, shave your head, try a pixie. Whatever floats your boat. Do you.
Practicalities, Maintenance, and Expert Perspectives
In Sept 2016, I realized my colored (med. dark brown) hair just was not working. After 28 years of coloring, my hair looked dry, rough, and too brassy/warm. I was so tired of the monthly visits that kept my hair looking “good” for 2 weeks, only to be followed by 2 weeks with roots popping up and constant heavy conditioners to attempt to keep my hair healthy. At six months, I could see my real color was bright and pretty! I had expected to keep adding some color low-lights for contrast, but really liked my own color. In this time-frame, I quit a dead end job, I got engaged, I started modeling, and now I am looking for a commercial acting agent. I get compliments often on my color! I would have to say that after fretting and thinking about letting my natural silver shine for over 20 years, I finally made the choice to be free at the age of 50. Once I made the decision, there was no stopping me. It was exciting to see how bright my silver was. Now that I am fully transitioned, I enjoy the freedom of truly being me. My most favorite feeling is when the wind blows, I no longer worry about my roots showing.
“The most satisfying thing I ever did. My best words of wisdom for your full transition to gray hair are ones I say repeatedly: You will never know what you’ve got until you grow it out. If you get your gray hair all the way grown out and you hate it, then you can cover that gray back up anytime you want. Finally, there is no right or wrong way to do this Full Transition to Gray Hair; there is only your way.”
With each passing year, we grow more and more aware of our age. Some people are blessed with a full head of naturally colored hair all the way up into their 50s, while others start getting their gray hairs in their twenties. There was a time when gray hair carried stigma, but experts and stylists emphasize embracing texture and tone, as a good haircut and the right products can make all the difference in feeling confident and stylish. Regular trims and moisture are essential, and purple shampoo helps keep cool tones bright while avoiding yellowing.
Iconic Transformations and Influencers
Celebrity colorist Jack Martin is a central figure in gray transformations. His Instagram is filled with before and after photos of beautiful transformations, and many clients embrace their natural beauty without hiding their gray roots. Martin’s approach often starts with a color extractor to remove artificial color, then bleaching and shading to match a client’s natural gray pattern, sometimes involving a pixie cut if needed. The GOAT of gray, Martin’s makeovers can take around ten hours, and clients typically return twice or thrice a year for touch-ups, rather than every few weeks.
Ronel van Vollenhoven, founder and Master Stylist of At Stylar, also emphasizes embracing gray: it’s about letting authentic beauty shine through, working with texture and tone, and ensuring a flattering haircut and proper products. The emphasis on confidence and personal choice remains a common thread across experiences, with many people reporting feeling more empowered and free after embracing their natural color.
WHEN I WENT GREY - 10 THINGS THAT HAPPENED || GREY HAIR JOURNEY 2019
Practical Guidance for Readers Considering Going Gray
There are several pathways to go gray, including blending colored hair to mirror roots, balancing tones with highlights, or opting for a full transition. For lighter hair, dyeing everything gray to blend with roots is an option, though many find their colored hair too dark to lift evenly to gray. Balayage or selective lightening can soften the transition, especially for curly or wavy hair. If you’re uncertain, a pixie can be a quick, stylish transition after a few months of grow-out. No matter the method, confidence and a strong support network are critical to weather negative feedback and stay true to your choice.
Ultimately, going gray is a personal journey. It can be about hair, but it often becomes a journey toward self-acceptance, authenticity, and a new sense of freedom. If you’re on the fence, remember that you can always revert to dye if needed. The key is to move at your own pace, find a look that suits you, and embrace the change with a positive mindset.